Let the SUN shine in!

I'm in a...

... bad way.

Travel procrastination - I've been to 112 cities in 25 countries. NEED MORE!

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FREEDOM

My sister CJ Meehan compiled and created this work of art.

I should warn the viewer, they show graphic and disturbing images. But they are images we should not turn away from.

Now is as good a time as any to: WAKE UP.

(simple, right?).

PART ONE



PART TWO

Assistance Required.

You're never alone!

This morning, I discovered a boy from school died.

I was not what you would call friends with this guy. He was the year above me at school.. and haven't seen him for 15 years. But I do remember him. Piecing it all together via facebook and mutual friends and managing to view his public profile.. I do indeed remember him.

Not only do I discover that he died on the 28th April - but I can surmise that he took his own life.

I am left with this sickening feeling in my gut. Tears that will not subside. And this for a 32 year old boy that I really did not know.

His facebook wall is adorned with pictures. Condolences. Fond memories. Happy smiles. Upbeat status updates. Photo albums. Adored relationships with friends. It is strange to see all these postings on his wall, when he is no longer on this earth. He will never read them. He will never know what he has left behind. Everyone is shocked and saddened by his passing, commenting that he was always there for them and brought light and life to the world. It appears noone had the slightest clue he was suffering from any sort of anguish. Stranger still is the "Add as Friend" button. For some reason, I can not take my eyes off it, nor can I close down his profile page. My heart is crying.

As someone who has lived with some form of depression and anxiety for almost 20 years, I can tell you... You are not alone. Please always reach out. Call someone. Anyone. You are never alone. Never ever think that you're alone. There is always someone there willing to listen. Willing to hold your hand. My god call/write/email/msg me - even if you don't know me.

If in need - head to Beyond Blue: www.beyondblue.org.au

Life is far to beautiful to miss. Rest in peace sweet boy. My thoughts are with your family and friends and the life you left behind.

I just need a little oxygen...

What?

... I don't know.

I am highly unmotivated today. I feel funny. I feel off. I have a headache. My eyes are heavy. I have not done a thing, and I believe that this is the cause. I feel stuck, but I'm bursting to break free.

I am cold. Tired. Can't make myself go outside, and yet I feel as though I have cabin fever. I feel paralyzed. I know that it will pass. But for the moment - I hate feeling trapped like this.

I'm getting anxious about the next few days. Work. Commitments I have made, and yet no commitments to my studies. No wonder I have to spend 40 hours of zero sleep, tying up lose academic ends.

All I have done the past week is:

eat.

read.

watch films.

No exercise. I haven't seen friends. I don't see friends anymore. I make up that I can't because I don't have the time. And yet, I don't do anything, Just sit.

And wallow.

And procrastinate.

And become increasingly unhealthy.

I see family (because I live with them). I see uni people (because I study with them - but have no connection with them). I see work colleagues (because I work with them - but have no connection with them).

I am in a muddle.

I just want this to be over. I can't wait for this to pass.

I don't know why I'm posting the above video. But it's one that I haven't listened to in years and today, I just can't seem to shake it.

Willy Mason, "Oxygen"

(look up)

A blog I was 'forced' to create for uni...

Cassandra's Spiel

http://happylovelysunshinethoughts.wordpress.com/

Rebel With a Cause

Dennis Hopper & The New Hollywood

Last week, I ventured into the impressive Dennis Hopper exhibition at ACMI for a second time this year. Although an admirer of Hopper, I was unaware of the role he played within the film industry during the formative years of Hollywood. What I knew of Hopper, sounds ridiculously basic now that I reflect: actor, filmmaker and self-destructive rebel rouser. This exhibition presents Hopper as catalyst for change in Hollywood; giving birth to a New Hollywoodbrought forth by times of rebellion and dissent.

Further to my ignorance, I knew nothing of his artistic endeavours, his connections and relationships with the art elite and LA’s art underground, let alone his insanely arresting private art collection. I was to discover that Hopper was amongst the first to collect the artwork of now famous pop artists, such as Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. On both occasions that I visited the “Dennis Hopper and the New Hollywood” exhibition, I was enlightened to the many facets of Hopper’s creativity and role in the cinematic world, from the early 1950s until the present day.

The exhibition is arranged in five thematic (non-chronological) sections:

ON THE FRINGES OF HOLLYWOOD

The first thing I hear descending the stairs into the exhibition, is Hopper’s narration for “I Remember” (original concept by Mattieu Orléan). This short documentary piece gives voice to Hopper’s recollection of a time gone by; a time of cultural, social and political transformation. This piece evoked a sense of nostalgia for a time I did not personally experience. Interestingly the bluegrass music playing throughout, ceases when Hopper arrives closer to the present day: Desert Storm, the War in Iraq, the LA riots, and even more recently with Obama’s dash for Presidency of the United States. At this point, Hendrix’s iconic cover of Star-spangled Banner begins to play. “I Remember” was a great induction into Hoppersville.

This was by far the largest section of the exhibition. I am introduced to his close relationships with artists such as Warhol, Bruce Connor, Lilia Schanbel, Wallace Bermar, Ed Ruscha and his involvement in the Ferus Gallery in LA. Not only that, but artwork of aforementioned artists from Hopper’s personal collection, adorned the walls. I was struck by an arresting piece from Viggo Mortensen, Mother Memory (1997) and a ‘cowboy hat wearing’ picture of Hopper by iconic pop(art)astic Andy Warhol (1971).

In addition to the colourful and abstract artwork, a series of photographs of Hopper adorn the wall from the mid ’60s until ‘95, while another wall is covered in pictures, contracts and photographs from the Warner Bros. archive. Launching Hopper’s career, Rebel Without a Cause (1955), is projected amongst the images. Other films shown include, experimental films such as Luke (1967) by Bruce Conner, Warhol’s 16mm with Hopper as subject (1963), as well as television commercials featuring Hopper (most notably the Ford Cougar/Easy Rider reprise, 1990) and some of his later films: The Trip (1967), Easy Rider (1969), Basquait(1996), Boiling Point (1993), Blue Velvet (1986), American Friend (1977), and The Indian Runner (1991).

Stills, footage and background information from The Last Movie (1971), was intriguing. Even though it won the Grand Prix award at the Venice Film Festival, distribution was withdrawn by Universal because Hopper refused to re-edit. Going further than Easy Rider, it was a film that challenged the cinematic conventions of the time (incl. non-linear structure). It was eventually released for television under the title “Chinchero” and without Hopper’s name attached. This is certainly a film, I now wish to track down and see!

Along with the mixed media of the Jenny Holzer LED (2007) and footage fromCatchfire (1990), Hopper’s self portrait is displayed – a digital inkjet print, transparency and light box: “Within a Man of Light, there is only Light; within a Man of Darkness, there is only Darkness.” I loved it. This seemed like a paradox to me, as Hopper was certainly neither one nor the other. Also of note was Hopper’s own eerie black and white photographic series on President Kennedy’s televised funeral procession (1963).

THE NEW MYTHS OF HOLLYWOOD

Hopper was aptly nicknamed “The Tourist” due to his penchant for happy snaps. On display, is his personal documentation of the swinging sixties. Hopper’s evocative black and white photographs were a wonder to me. The placard states, it was a “… time of chaos and dreams. Of hallucinogenic experimentation and sexual liberation.” Hopper captured these moments, these people. Perpetrating a new mythology being born alongside the fight for civil rights, and growing opposition to the war in Vietnam. Friends, actors, politicians, musicians, uprisings: Paul Newman, James Brown, Martin Luther King were of note. Thinking back to the introductory documentary “I Remember” – Hopper undoubtedly does.

Also on display are striking re-workings of Hopper’s own photography, into five larger-than-life paintings that “reinforced the myths of a youthful world in which utopia seemed possible.”

LEAVING HOLLYWOOD

Easy Rider, embodying ‘American Dream’, was a symbol of peace and love for a new generation. The film embraced a new approach to filmmaking – on location with a rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack. Art litters the walls, from wall assemblage containing mixed media to the moving image. As well as Easy Rider, there is also a projection of Tracks (1977), in addition to further snippets from The Last Movieand Catchfire.

An exclusive to the Australian exhibition: footage and perspex boxes containing promotional booklets, notes and artifacts from Mad Dog Morgan (1976) shot in Australia with David Gulpilil, are on show. Humourisly documented is Hopper’s method acting madness, which drove a lot of the crew and cast to tears (not to mention his excessively drunk and disorderly behaviour!)

LOS ANGELES, THE REAL FACE OF HOLLYWOOD

The focus in this section is largely on the 1980s, when Hopper farewelled the desert and life on the road and headed back to the city. After years of inactivity, Hopper picked up his camera and paintbrush once more. This section is heavily focused on Hopper’s return to art. In addition, a perspex box encases a series of Hopper’s polaroids (1991) of LA gang related graffiti. A projection of Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (1979) and Tracks plays all the while.

EXPLODING HOLLYWOOD

This is the smallest section of the exhibition and confined to one room. I found it the most interesting, as it is concerned with the “power of change and regeneration”; something that Hopper embraced.

Artwork by friends, Lichtenstein, Peter Schuyff are present. Of note, a large Jean-Michel Basquait piece hangs at the end of the room. Although not such an admirer of his sculpture, Hopper’s creation, “bomb drop” (1967-2000), is huge and impressive; the incessant buzzing aiding a feeling of dis-ease. What surprised me even more about Hopper’s creativity was his use of sculpture and mixed media. It was something I was completely unaware of.

Attendees can sit before a projection with x7 snippets of Hoppers films. Most amazing to me was the brief snapshot I had of Life After Canvas (1983). It was a performance by Hopper in aid of an art exhibition opening of his. He surrounded himself with twenty sticks of dynamite and literally blew himself up. This stunt could have easily ended in tragedy. However did not, and only served to reinforce , that Hopper was a man who took risks. A man who continued to ‘rage against the machine’, so to speak. It was obvious he remains someone who is “always challenging convention and transforming disillusion into creativity.”

*** I knew I had come to the end of the exhibition when I hit the ‘Listening Lounge’. Absorbing myself in the soundtrack that is Dennis Hopper, it is a place to sit back and flip through influential art literature, such as Pop LA, 40 California (as well as the ACMI Hopper Exhibition book itself, conveniently available for purchase upstairs in the ACMI shop!). Revolutionary artists from ‘67 up until ‘05, such as Neil young and Gorillaz, pump out tunes. Album covers display seminal bands featured in Easy Rider: The Band, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Bob Dylan, and Steppenwolf. Music and film… my favourite combination!

Being a film buff from way back, I was very much interested in all of the movie snippets throughout the exhibition. Films I have not yet seen, and a couple I hadn’t even heard of, such as Tracks and The Last Movie. The photos of Hopper himself also sparked an interest. Young. Clean cut. So different to the image I always had of him in my mind from his rebel-rousing days. But even back then, in the early ’50s, he was a vehicle for change.

Due to the sheer abundance of art, the amount of mixed media is overwhelming at times. Although some screens have headphones, others do not and thus audio and visual meld into one and create a sense of over stimulation. However, for a man such as Dennis Hopper, with so many dimensions, it seems justly appropriate. An amalgamation, so many expressions of his personality and passions canvassed through his creativity: artist, photographer, sculptor, painter, actor, writer, director, and collaborator.

Hopper did more than dip his hands into different mediums; he immersed himself in them. In fact, it is impossible to separate him from his art. This exhibition goes further than simply celebrating the work of this infamous artist. As Serge Toubiana (Director General, Cinémathèque Française where the Hopper exhibition was initially housed) proclaimed, “Because with Hopper everything is interconnected in work and life, everything caught up in a maelstrom, in a sort of fevered, creative whirlwind.” So go on! Get swept up in a feeling of nostalgia, so that you too, like Dennis Hopper, can claim to ‘remember’. I urge anyone interested in film or art or photography or even American history to go and see this exhibition while there’s still time.

Only at ACMI until Sunday 25th April 2010. Audio guide avail (45 min) for $5.

Further info: http://www.acmi.net.au/hopper_new_hollywood.aspx

I am quivering with rage and despair

I finally had the courage (or it might have been just the right amount of procrastination motivation) to finally watch Earthlings. 

Fuck. Where do I begin? How can I put into words... how can I express the sentiment... the breaking of my heart, the closing of my throat, the lack of air in my lungs, the burning of my eyes.. the total and utter incomprehension of the human race.

I am mad as all hell.

Hunting. Bullfighting. Fishing. Zoos. Fur Industry. Leather Industry. Meat. Poultry. Dairy. Animal Farming. Pet Stores. Whaling. Animal Cruelty. Animal Oppression. Vivisection... aaarrrggggh.

Animals that are used for: Food/Entertainment/Clothing/Scientific Experimentation ALL die in pain.

For those of you who foolishly think I choose that cause of 'animal' oppression/enslavement/torture/murder over 'human's. You are gravely mistaken. I am a lover, a supporter, a believer and a fighter for all humanity. We're all animals. 

We are all earthlings. 

Ignorance is NO longer an EXCUSE. It's 2010 people. Wake the fuck up. This is fucking bullshit. If ONE of my 'friends' has their eyes opened just a little after viewing any part of this film, I will sleep a little easier.

And most of all, what I am asking... is for awareness. Be aware. Think. Think. THINK. Question. Question. QUESTION... WHERE your food (meat or otherwise) comes from. Where your dairy products come from. Where your clothing comes from, etc etc. xox

You can watch the entire doco for free: 

www.earthlings.com

I'm disappointed and fed up with people at the moment.

My neck and eye and jaw are locked.

I am disappointed in my self.

Overwhelmed. Trapped. Confused.

Fuck.

... but I know this is just around the corner...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0lbfEb8MMk

Question:

What do I do with all of my sadness?