What?

... I don't know.

I am highly unmotivated today. I feel funny. I feel off. I have a headache. My eyes are heavy. I have not done a thing, and I believe that this is the cause. I feel stuck, but I'm bursting to break free.

I am cold. Tired. Can't make myself go outside, and yet I feel as though I have cabin fever. I feel paralyzed. I know that it will pass. But for the moment - I hate feeling trapped like this.

I'm getting anxious about the next few days. Work. Commitments I have made, and yet no commitments to my studies. No wonder I have to spend 40 hours of zero sleep, tying up lose academic ends.

All I have done the past week is:

eat.

read.

watch films.

No exercise. I haven't seen friends. I don't see friends anymore. I make up that I can't because I don't have the time. And yet, I don't do anything, Just sit.

And wallow.

And procrastinate.

And become increasingly unhealthy.

I see family (because I live with them). I see uni people (because I study with them - but have no connection with them). I see work colleagues (because I work with them - but have no connection with them).

I am in a muddle.

I just want this to be over. I can't wait for this to pass.

I don't know why I'm posting the above video. But it's one that I haven't listened to in years and today, I just can't seem to shake it.

Willy Mason, "Oxygen"

(look up)